parents' expectations

As your son or daughter arrives on campus, we understand that both your student and you may be going through a transition time. Leaving your child behind in a new city and new school without you may be very overwhelming and emotional. Many parents want their child to stay home forever but battle with the feelings of also wanting their child to grow up. These feelings are completely normal, but trusting that each child experience this transition differently, may be a comfort.

Here are a few suggestions to help ease the transition for you...

> Trust your student

Trusting your student gives them more self-confidence, allows them to stand up for themselves and allows your student to know they have support back home.

> The only constant is change

Your child will change! The college transition allows your student the opportunity to grow. It gives you the chance to know your child on a different level. The experience is an excellent opening for good conversation and an opportunity for both of you to talk about new things and go beyond your comfort zones. This time shared is the start of an adult relationship with your child.

> They need you to let go

It is difficult for your student to make their own life at college if his/her "old life" is holding them back. Try to let your student address problems and concerns. Let them learn new things. The experience of figuring things out for themselves is a real strength-builder.

> Discuss expectations

Let your student know what you expect, but also value and understand the expectations they have of their own.

> Keep in touch

Students love mail. Send care packages (see the resident services link or click here to order a care package) and chat with them regularly. When things change at home try to involve them.

> Let them make mistakes

A student grows or makes mistakes and takes positive risks, such as trying a new club or learning a new language. Students need support as they figure themselves out - and allowing some things to be mistakes are a way to help them grow.

> They need to know you believe in them

Let them know that it is okay for their worldview to be questioned and for perspectives to change. This helps them to learn to take the initiative and to make good decisions.

> Be interested, not intrusive

Ask what is going on in his/her life, but don't quiz them. Try not to call or email constantly. A healthy distance should be negotiated and established.

> We treat them as adults

We are not here to take over the parenting role, but we are here to help your student develop into a well-rounded person and make their educational experience positive. We make ourselves available to help support on both the academic and personal level. We educate students on how to be accountable and how to be effective problem solvers. We respect a student's privacy, but we intervene if we become aware or potentially life-threatening behavior. Our staff is here because we want to work with college students and we have specific training to help support them. Encourage your student to use campus resources to support them through their college years.

> We expect them to take responsibility

This is one of the most important things your student can learn. We expect them to take responsibility for their behavioral choices, academic honestly, personal integrity, developing healthy study, eating and sleeping habits, seeking academic assistance when needed and being a positive member or our community.

> Prepare them for a Bigger World

As the primary role model for your student, they see you solve problems and interact with people. They often model your behavior. Model behavior that embraces diversity and values contributions to the community.

> Student well-being

Talk to your student about:

Wellness: Benefits of good sleeping habits, eating healthy, exercising, taking emotional issues seriously and encouraging students to talk to campus resources.

Mental Health: Discuss homesickness, depression and how the campus resources are here to support your student. Encourage them to talk to friends and campus staff.

Alcohol & Drugs: It is possible that your student will be tempted to experiment with alcohol and other drugs during their college years. Talk to your student openly about alcohol and other drugs, empower your student to say "no" when something doesn't feel right and leave the lines of communication open.

Academics: Ask your student what they are learning. Ask how classes are going without focusing on their grades, but on the content instead. Help your student find ways to balance work, social life, extracurricular activities and their classes.

Money Matters: Talk to your student about money. Help them with figuring out a budget that works for them to keep an eye out for scholarship and other financial aid opportunities and warn your student about credit cards.